Skoda Octavia Scout 1.8 TSI

For me, though, I reckon the end of Rover came about early in 2003 when it launched a car called the Streetwise.

Based on the Rover 25, which was already rubbish, it was jacked up on stilts and came with ostentatious rubber bumpers and side strips that were supposed to make it look tough and rugged but actually made it look like a pensioner in Doc Martens. And they called this engineered-on-a-shoestring mishmash an “urban on-roader”. Which, when translated, means “a car that you can drive on the road in a town”. Like every other car in the world, then. But it wasn’t. It was worse.

Of course, this sort of thing had been tried before, by a French company called Matra with the Rancho. It was a front-wheel-drive but it was made from polyester and it sported chunky panels on the side, roof bars and various other accoutrements to make it look like it had just driven off the set of Daktari. Was it a success? Er, no.

A car needs to look like what it does. A Ferrari needs to be low and sleek. A Volvo has to fit outside an antiques shop. A Rolls-Royce has to look right with Suralan Sugar in the back. It’s no good making a car look like a Lamborghini if the engine is made by Atco. And I’m sorry but a normal two-wheel-drive car, such as the Streetwise or the Rancho, dressed up in off-road gear looks as stupid as those massive watches that dissolve if they fall in the sink.

Which brings me on to the Skoda Roomster Scout. What were they thinking of? I like the normal Roomster. I think that if you avoid the three-cylinder diesel version, which doesn’t move unless you blow it up, it is a brilliant little car. But now Skoda has launched a version that has more ground clearance and various Streetwise styling cues ... but no four-wheel-drive system. This means that if you take it into a field, it will remain there until June.

I decided, therefore, to not bother reviewing what would be a stupid car and take a look instead at its bigger brother — the Octavia Scout.

Like the Rancho, and the Rover and the Roomster, this is also front-wheel drive. But when you go into a field, some of the engine’s power is automatically sent aft, making it four-wheel drive.

I went for a drive in the countryside this morning and was very impressed with its ability to make progress over the sort of terrain that would cause the driver of a Range Rover to think seriously about turning round. It may be the same four-wheel-drive system that’s fitted to a sporty Audi TT but it really does work. What’s more, in a stubble field, the vicious little stalks were prevented from scratching the paint by those chunky plastic skirts, and the raised ride height meant the sump guard was only needed twice.